5 truths for the otter creek men

Men,

At the bottom of this post are the 5 truths that Richard Rohr, an amazing writer and firm believer of the formal initiation of young men into manhood, believes to be accurate about life as a man.  For thousands of years cultures and tribes have had a formal initiation ceremony to confirm the transition from boyhood to manhood.  How many of us have been through such a rite of passage?  I would dare say only a few.  I went through mine last October at the age of 36.  If you want to know more about that, please ask.  I wish I could have experienced that initiation 20 years ago.  I wish my dad, who is an amazing Christian man, would have had the experience himself as a young man and passed that on to me.  I want to start that process with my own son one day, if God sees fit to bless me with a wife and son.  

So much of what Jeff and I are hoping for in the men's ministry at OC is to develop community among the men.  Life is busy.  We all have commitments, we all have jobs and a "mission" in life.  However, the fullness of becoming a man cannot be achieved alone, nor can it be done merely by just dedicating ourselves and our time to our wife and kids.  There is more.  Much more.  One day, kids grow up and are gone.  One day, we all return to an individual self, even if we are happily married for 50 years.  I see it in my own parents who have now been married for 51 years.  They love each other deeply.  There is nothing they wouldn't do for each other, but they are also individual seekers of God's kingdom.  They still have their own passions and missions aside from the marriage.  And that is good.  

 

Over the coming months, Jeff and I are going to do our best to provide time and opportunity for all of you to come together and walk in community with each other and with us.  We are all on a path.  We are all on the same path, as it relates to where we all want to spend our eternity.  We might be at different locations on that path, some ahead of us, some next to us, some behind us......but that doesn't mean anyone has it figured out more than another. We are fellow travelers.  We need people to walk with.  We need brothers who understand what it means to be a man in today's world.  Thankfully, women don't understand that.  That's what makes them so inherently beautiful.  They don't fully understand us any more than we fully understand them.  There is beauty in the mystery.  It's what keeps us interested.  RELISH THAT!!  

 

If you feel like you are isolated, or have no one to walk with, Jeff and I want to change that, and so does your Lord.  It takes you opening yourself up to the idea that you don't have it all figured out and being OK with that fact!!  We all can learn so incredibly much from each other.  We can learn from those ahead of us on the path if we let down our guard and ditch that pride and chip on our shoulders.  We can help those who are behind us if we are willing to admit we are broken and allow them to see our mistakes, so they won't repeat them.  Being next to someone on the path means we aren't alone.  There are so many examples in scripture where God shows us that "more than one is better".  12 disciples, Paul and Silas, David and Jonathan, David and Nathan, Adam and Eve, and the list goes on.  God even says in Genesis that He didn't like for man to be alone.  We have examples from the beginning of CREATED TIME!!  So why do we feel like we don't want or need help, don't want to be told what to do, don't want input, want to figure everything out ourselves?  I have my own theory and it can be summed up in one word......PRIDE.  I'm not saying it's bad to feel accomplishment, or to have victory in an independent way, but at what cost?  As soon as we start thinking we can do it ourselves, the need for others, even God, begins to wane.

 

So where are you?  Do you have someone you can talk to?  And I don't mean lie to or to ask to co-sign your crap or someone who will take an "easy way out" answer to the question "How are you?".  Do you have someone you can TALK TO?  Do you have someone to share your successes, failures, mistakes, sins, infidelities, thoughts, worries or fears with??  Do you?  Honestly?  If we aren't calling each other UP to be better men, then what are we doing??

 Here's to growing together as men and as followers of Christ.

 

Kyle 

again, here are the 5 truths: 

Life Is Hard

If you can be convinced of this early in life and not waste time trying to avoid it or making it easy for yourself, you will ironically have much less useless suffering in the long run. Because we avoid the legitimate pain of being human, we bring upon ourselves much longer, meaningless, and desperate pain.

You Are Going to Die

The certainty and reality of one's own death must be made very real. The young man must live as one who has already died "the first death" and is not protecting himself from the second. This is seen in the traditional Christian baptismal teaching: "Do you not know that you who were baptized were baptized into the dying of Christ?" (Romans 6:3). One's death must be ritualized through trials, facing loss and one's fear of loss.

 

You Are Not That Important

Cosmic and personal humility is of central importance for truth and happiness in this world. The initiate must be rightly situated in a world that demands respect from him, or he will have an inflated-deflated sense of himself that will need continual reassurance. This is almost the complete contrary of the post-modern "I am special" button. Littleness is nothing to be denied or disguised, but gives a basis for all community, family, and service.

 

You Are Not in Control

The illusion of control must be surrendered by a deep experience of one's own powerlessness. Usually only suffering accomplishes this task, especially unjust suffering and things that one cannot change. Reality and God are in control, and we will normally not accept this until led to the limits of our own resources.

 

Your Life Is Not About You

This is the essential and summary experience. You must know that you are a part of something and somebody much bigger than yourself. Your life is not about you, it is about God. Henceforward, the entire human experience takes on a dramatically different character. We call it holiness.

Daily Devotional Together

One of the objectives Kyle and I have in supporting the men's ministry is to encourage each other as men to spend time in the Word and in prayer, either individually or together. One thing I want to suggest is that we all use a common devotional book. I think there can be some encouragement knowing some of us are starting our day in the same thoughts and prayer mindset. I have been using the "Men of Integrity" daily devotional book, which is published with Promise Keepers. I am usually cynical of these types of devotional books, but this one is really good, it fits in a pocket or briefcase/computer bag, and is a quick 2-3 minute read. They are broken into week-long subjects, and are actually pretty relevant (dealing with topics as fatherhood, relationships with other men, pornography, work/career, etc.).

I can get pretty cheap copies of these in bulk, but wanted to gauge interest before I did. If you would be interested in doing this together, please respond in the comments section and I'll order as many as are interested.

FOUR FOUNDATIONS

Men,

Here are the four foundations of our quest for brotherhood in the Otter Creek Church.

1.  Community and brotherhood to all men through open and authentic relationships, striving to be fellow travelers, side by side, along life's path.

2.  Encourage spiritual formation through opportunities and encouragement to engage in the daily disciplines of prayer, study and self-examination.

3.  Support and encourage men to respect, serve and love their wives (or significant others) with humility and sacrifice.

4.  Share and lift each other up in times of struggle or pain - rejoice and celebrate when we experience victories in life.

SAMSON SOCIETY

Men,

 

One of the ways to get plugged into community with other men is to simply talk.  On Thursdays here at the building, there is a weekly meeting of the Samson Society.  Samson is a way for men to get together and discuss the issues that we as men face today and how we are walking in those situations and how we can help each other in that common journey.  This is a time to come and just talk, and listen.  

 

There is a meeting after the meeting at Mazatlan Mexican Resturant from 8 until whenever you decide to leave.  The after meeting times are every bit as important as the structured meeting times.  At the AFTER meeting, we can sit and talk, laugh, tell our stories, and get to REALLY know each other, and develop relationships with other men that we can count on and call on daily.  

 

One of the tenets of the Samson Society is the requirement for STRICTEST CONFIDENCE.  Everything said in a meeting, stays in the meeting.  No wives are authorized to know the details of our conversations in a meeting.  Anything you share can and WILL BE held in that strictest confidence.  We hold very tightly to that and it is VITAL that you understand that if you come, you can be fully present, and you can fully share whatever the Lord leads you to share.  We all have a story to tell.  All of us have successes and failures in our past lives, some in our current lives.  These are the stories that grow us individually and as brothers in Christ.

 

Another tenet of the Samson Society is the idea of a Silas.  A Silas relationship is a big part of what we do in this group.  A Silas is a traveling companion.  Someone we walk with, DAILY, in order to remain on the path that God has set us on.  A Silas is more than an accountability partner.  An accountability partner is too easy to lie to.  When you walk in community with another brother, you share you story, in honesty, speaking out of your own experiences and trust him to listen in love, without judgement.  Paul always had a traveling companion on his missionary journeys, he never went anywhere alone.  Even Jesus walked with someone, never being alone, except to pray.  (And when he was driven to the desert to be tempted)  If our Lord and Savior had men in His life to walk with, shouldn't we?  I believe it's a supreme example that isolation doesn't work.  I have been a part of Samson for two years now.  I have lived in isolation most of my life.  Closed up, shamed, superficial, everything always being "fine" when someone asked.  When a Silas asks you how you are doing, he will probably slap you if you say the word "fine" (kidding), because he REALLY wants to know EXACTLY how you are and refuses to let you off the hook with a token answer.  What he is trying to do is help keep you present.  Present for yourself, present for your wife/girlfriend, present for your kids, present in your job, present for the people who really need you to be present.  Silas relationships aren't set in stone forever.  They vary in length of time, based on constant evaluation of the two men who are in this relationship.  It's not something where someone gets their feelings hurt if they ask to be out of a Silas relationship.  He might feel as though it is time to move on and get a new Silas, based on a new chapter of his life.  Some Silas relationships might be forever.  Again, it's up the two who decide to enter that relationship.

 

Meetings are exactly one hour in length, we all meet together at the begining for a few minutes to pray and read scripture, talk about the Fact and the Path (see www.samsonsociety.org), and choose the topic of discussion for the evening and then break into groups of three or four, depending on how many show up.  There is NO CROSS TALK during a meeting.  When a man speaks, it is his turn to talk and no one else's.  We are there to listen until it's our time to speak.  The after meeting is a perfect time to delve more into what a guy said in a meeting, as long as he is comfortable talking about it at that time.

 

So why do we meet?  What brings us to Samson meetings?  It differs for everyone, but the following are many reasons why men desire this community.  Addictions (of all types, drug, alcohol, sexual), isolation has gotten old, marriage failure, dealing with death, shame, community, brotherhood, wanting to be known.  Ultimately, we meet because we know we can't DO life by ourselves.  There are some things we just can't and shouldn't expect women to understand.   Brotherhood, study, self-examination and prayer are the only ways we can get through this. 

I really hope you guys will consider attending Samson meetings.  The only thing I ask is that if you decide to come, come at least 3 or 4 times before you totally decide whether or not it's for you.  Just give it a fair chance if you decide to attend.  There are several guys listed on this page that you can contact if you would like more information.  I would encourage you talk to some of these guys and get their view.  Don't just take my word for it.  Ask guys who are attending.  If your wives have questions, call Jeff McInturff and talk to him and have your wives get in touch with Jeff's wife, Christy.  Jeannie Sandella, John Sandella's wife is another option, as well as Sheryl Thomas, BST's wife and Peyton Williford's wife as well.

 

7pm, room 205, Otter Creek.  Hope to see you there.

Kyle

WELCOME TO THE OTTER CREEK BROTHERHOOD

Men,

I want to welcome you to the brotherhood.  Jeff and I hope that all of you will welcome the opportunity you have to become closer to your brothers here at the Creek.  Jeff and I plan to create several venues for you to plug in and walk in authenticity with other men.  There are several ideas that we have and some of them will involve help from you.  We want you guys to own this brotherhood and to be directly involved with the planning of certain events and fellowship times.  

There are some things already happening in the building during the week.  One great option you have to walk with other men is to attend meetings of the Samson Society.  This group has been meeting at Otter Creek since May of last year.  Over the course of the last 8 months, we have grown as a group and more importantly, as individuals.  Marriages have been strengthened, relationships have been mended, challenges have been conquered, and the enemy is less powerful in our lives as a result.  

The Samson Society has been around for years.  It started as a small group of men in Franklin who needed to talk with other men about struggles that apply directly to men.  Over the last two years, the book "Samson and the Pirate Monks", by Nate Larkin has come out.  Nate is the "founder" of the society.  All of this was his idea, his vision, and part of his recovery.  Now the Samson Society has spread all over the country with meetings being attended in 15 states.  I would encourage each of you to attend.  There are several OC guys attending.  If you have any questions regarding this meeting, feel free to call me or Jeff.  There is also the Samson website.  www.samsonsociety.org  Everything you need to know is on that site as well.  Look it up!

What we also would love to see, on this website, is for you to share your challenges, prayer requests, questions, victories and failures.  Part of stepping into the fullness of our manhood is being known.  You decide what and how much you are willing to share.  Anyone can post comments on this blog and that is where you need to post things you want the group to know.  If you want to share, please do, and please provide the e-mail information necessary if you want to be contacted by other guys.  

Men we have so many things in our lives that we cannot expect a woman to understand.  This is why we need community with other men.  Men who "get it".  Men who have walked the same path at one time or another.  Men who have failed when they were in your situation and men who have prevailed in your current situation.  Please consider prayerfully and seriously how you can give your gifts to other men and what you need to receive from other men.

Let Jeff and I know how we can help you get plugged in, and let us know if there is anything you need that this brotherhood can offer you.

Peace,

Kyle Rigsby

kylerigsby@comcast.net