Men,
At the bottom of this post are the 5 truths that Richard Rohr, an amazing writer and firm believer of the formal initiation of young men into manhood, believes to be accurate about life as a man. For thousands of years cultures and tribes have had a formal initiation ceremony to confirm the transition from boyhood to manhood. How many of us have been through such a rite of passage? I would dare say only a few. I went through mine last October at the age of 36. If you want to know more about that, please ask. I wish I could have experienced that initiation 20 years ago. I wish my dad, who is an amazing Christian man, would have had the experience himself as a young man and passed that on to me. I want to start that process with my own son one day, if God sees fit to bless me with a wife and son.
So much of what Jeff and I are hoping for in the men's ministry at OC is to develop community among the men. Life is busy. We all have commitments, we all have jobs and a "mission" in life. However, the fullness of becoming a man cannot be achieved alone, nor can it be done merely by just dedicating ourselves and our time to our wife and kids. There is more. Much more. One day, kids grow up and are gone. One day, we all return to an individual self, even if we are happily married for 50 years. I see it in my own parents who have now been married for 51 years. They love each other deeply. There is nothing they wouldn't do for each other, but they are also individual seekers of God's kingdom. They still have their own passions and missions aside from the marriage. And that is good.
Over the coming months, Jeff and I are going to do our best to provide time and opportunity for all of you to come together and walk in community with each other and with us. We are all on a path. We are all on the same path, as it relates to where we all want to spend our eternity. We might be at different locations on that path, some ahead of us, some next to us, some behind us......but that doesn't mean anyone has it figured out more than another. We are fellow travelers. We need people to walk with. We need brothers who understand what it means to be a man in today's world. Thankfully, women don't understand that. That's what makes them so inherently beautiful. They don't fully understand us any more than we fully understand them. There is beauty in the mystery. It's what keeps us interested. RELISH THAT!!
If you feel like you are isolated, or have no one to walk with, Jeff and I want to change that, and so does your Lord. It takes you opening yourself up to the idea that you don't have it all figured out and being OK with that fact!! We all can learn so incredibly much from each other. We can learn from those ahead of us on the path if we let down our guard and ditch that pride and chip on our shoulders. We can help those who are behind us if we are willing to admit we are broken and allow them to see our mistakes, so they won't repeat them. Being next to someone on the path means we aren't alone. There are so many examples in scripture where God shows us that "more than one is better". 12 disciples, Paul and Silas, David and Jonathan, David and Nathan, Adam and Eve, and the list goes on. God even says in Genesis that He didn't like for man to be alone. We have examples from the beginning of CREATED TIME!! So why do we feel like we don't want or need help, don't want to be told what to do, don't want input, want to figure everything out ourselves? I have my own theory and it can be summed up in one word......PRIDE. I'm not saying it's bad to feel accomplishment, or to have victory in an independent way, but at what cost? As soon as we start thinking we can do it ourselves, the need for others, even God, begins to wane.
So where are you? Do you have someone you can talk to? And I don't mean lie to or to ask to co-sign your crap or someone who will take an "easy way out" answer to the question "How are you?". Do you have someone you can TALK TO? Do you have someone to share your successes, failures, mistakes, sins, infidelities, thoughts, worries or fears with?? Do you? Honestly? If we aren't calling each other UP to be better men, then what are we doing??
Here's to growing together as men and as followers of Christ.
Kyle
again, here are the 5 truths:
Life Is Hard
If you can be convinced of this early in life and not waste time trying to avoid it or making it easy for yourself, you will ironically have much less useless suffering in the long run. Because we avoid the legitimate pain of being human, we bring upon ourselves much longer, meaningless, and desperate pain.
You Are Going to Die
The certainty and reality of one's own death must be made very real. The young man must live as one who has already died "the first death" and is not protecting himself from the second. This is seen in the traditional Christian baptismal teaching: "Do you not know that you who were baptized were baptized into the dying of Christ?" (Romans 6:3). One's death must be ritualized through trials, facing loss and one's fear of loss.
You Are Not That Important
Cosmic and personal humility is of central importance for truth and happiness in this world. The initiate must be rightly situated in a world that demands respect from him, or he will have an inflated-deflated sense of himself that will need continual reassurance. This is almost the complete contrary of the post-modern "I am special" button. Littleness is nothing to be denied or disguised, but gives a basis for all community, family, and service.
You Are Not in Control
The illusion of control must be surrendered by a deep experience of one's own powerlessness. Usually only suffering accomplishes this task, especially unjust suffering and things that one cannot change. Reality and God are in control, and we will normally not accept this until led to the limits of our own resources.
Your Life Is Not About You
This is the essential and summary experience. You must know that you are a part of something and somebody much bigger than yourself. Your life is not about you, it is about God. Henceforward, the entire human experience takes on a dramatically different character. We call it holiness.
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